The Þog of 2022-05-29 — Enkalets

It's fun to speak English Incorrectly, so let's ruin it.


Vanilla English has too many weird noises. Let's snip all of those away.


IPA consonant table
m	n
p	t			k
f		s			h
		l		w


IPA vowel table
e	a

That's it. No more /i/ or /ð/. All of those sounds are written the same as the IPA symbols. You might notice some existing words have conflicting pronunciations with this phoneme set; We'll have fun resolving that later.

(Note: I removed /i/ and the rhotic /ɹ/ simply because they feel ugly. /o/ was omitted to have a fun three-vowel system.)

Grammar & Syntax

The syllable structure is (C)V(C)(C) and the word order is SVO. Not too far from the unbridled English mess, but still enough to have fun.

The suffix -s always marks possession and the suffix -z always marks plurality. For existing English words that end in /s/ or /z/, those sounds are removed. The -n suffix marks a word as being an adjective rather than a noun. If the word ends with a consonant, this becomes -in.

There is no tense or grammatical gender.


In each block, the first line is Enkalets, second is transliteration, and third is the equivalent in English.